anual year in review!!!

hello,

here is my anual year in review post for 2012!

January- major blur.....edynn was soooooo fussy, i was just praying she would sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time. we had edynns baby blessing. it was awesome and gave me a chance to reconnect with some old friends and have a "girlfriend" back. all in all, january was a decent month and much better than expected. i hate january the most of all the months, but this one was pretty good.

February- jay and i went to Wendover and saw the Barenaked Ladies play. they were awesome and it was a good relaxing weekend trip......i dont remember any other benchmarks for this month. :)

March- just hung out this month, nothing spectacular happened.

April- gage-o turned 8 years old this month. we went to bucket-o-crawfish for his birthday and it was really fun. he had such a good time, he even got a shark cake for his b-day.

May- gage got baptised a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. it was a wonderful baptism. jays parents showed up but i thought more people would have came. it was ok, it was an intimate gathering and very special to me. im so glad jay was able to baptise gage. gage even got a new suit for his baptism. gage also fell on a pointy stump in the front yard and poked it throug his thigh requiring a whole bunch of huge stitches and resulted in one gnarly scar.

June- jays b-day was this month and he had a good time. jay, unfortunately lost his job this month. but he got a new job at wal-mart in 9 days to tide us over until he could find a better job. i always thought i would freak out if jay ever lost his job. i didnt, i was abnormally at peace durring this time. it was a good "life lesson" to have this happen. i believe, baby edynn started rolling over this month also. we also enjoy going to westfest in june. and we had a wonderful time!

July-  it was sooooo hot! and you know, the 4th of july festivities and all.......

August- keltys b-day was this month and she started school too. she was so excited and brave to go to kindergarten, her teacher is mrs. brimley and she is great. gage has mrs. adams and is having a good time at school this year, he's made some good friends and is doing well. we had to forgo our idaho trip this month on account of the finances...or lack thereof. we were sad but grateful for the job jay does have.

September- this month just wizzed by. mackelty had her first clean brain scan! no tumors!!!!!

October- halloween of course. edynn was a baby lamb, gage was a vampire and kelty was a monster high doll. they were so cute!

November- turkey day! we went to chuck-a-rama for thanksgiving. edynn turned 1! and jay got a new job! yay! yay!

December- holidays took up the whole month!

well, a better year it was. even though we had a big set back we also had many blessings. and it was a pretty good year, if i dont say so myself. much better than 2011! so, on to 2013. we'll see what you bring us! bring it on!

i stole this from sariah

Just another Q&A ...................thanks rie pie! i totally stole this Q&A!

Beverage: pepsi, im learning to really like water though
Color: pink, but i like alot of colors
Desert: chocolate molten cake, anything chocolatey :)
Food: anything at a restaurant, im not too picky
Article of clothing: sweaters and jackets
Meal of the day: Dinner
Feature of yourself: im funny and upfront
Best quality in a guy/girl: the ability to accept others just as they are
Phrase: "for real!"
Song: at this moment...pontoon
Musical Artist/Band: i love too many to name
Sport: baseball!
Movie: gone in 60 seconds
TV Show: Breaking Bad
Radio Station: 97.1 ZHT and 101.9 the end
Number: 3
Day of the week: any day that im not working
Season: anything but winter
Restaurant: applebees or chilis
Type of music: almost everything, im even digging some smoothe jazz every now and then
Time of day: night! after work, i do love early mornings in the spring and summer
Place to chill: the basement
Scripture Hero: moroni or the stripling warriors mamas
Siblings: just 1- ashley
Book: the grapes of wrath and crime and punishment
Cash or Card: Card
Are you happy: mostly
Current mood: annoyed at my back hurting
Your best trait/characteristic: My sense of humor
Your worst trait/characteristic: im usually pretty anxiety riddled, i tend to get stuck on my goals and rehash and rehash and rehash
Your most prized possession: My babies
The best thing to happen to you in your life: having gage when i did, he saved my life. marrying jay and having my girls
Do you live in a home, apartment, duplex or mobile home: moms basement :(
Do you live in the city, suburbs or country: the burbs is where its at!
Do you believe in yourself: sure do
Any pets: a cat named bullet
Your zodiac sign: i am a double scorpio......i know, be afraid :)
Nickname: aer, babe
Church calling: primary teacher
Something cool about you: i have hidden talents.....like crazy tongue tricks and some other ones like being able plow through anything to reach a goal
Do you save your money or spend it when you get your hands on it: i spend the money i have budgeted to spend and usually save what i can. im obsesses with hoarding money
The one person you can trust with any thing: jay
Favorite website: dont have a fave
Your current car: pontiac sunfire
Is the glass half empty or half full: all the way full!
Fast Food or Restaurant: restaurant
Sleeping or Eating: cant get enough of either
Favorite Holiday: halloween and 4th of july
Talking or Listen to someone talk: both
Something random: i hate vomiting
Personality or Looks: when you love someone for just who they are they become attractive, there is always something beautiful or handsome about everyone.
Best advice you've ever received: listen to your mama and be yourself
Set your own path or follow the crowd: Ive been walking on my own trail for a while now
Are you laid back or high strung: high strung at times but i can be mello too
What annoys you most in a person: stinky attitudes
What's one thing that you have done that you're most proud of: got to the temple and had my babies
If you could be anyone who existed in the world, who would you be: i would like to be myself just stinkin filthy rich!
If you could be anywhere right now where would you be: getting my back fixed, oh its killing me today
One thing you can't live without: my family

ive been doing alot of self evaluation lately. although i have a ton of "deep issues" i also have a couple other things that were suprising to discover.
ive always like perfume and girly things. in fact, i LOVE perfume, shoes, hair bows, makeup, clothes etc. Buuuuuuuuut, things have been scaled way back since i got married to jay and had babies. now the kids need stuff more than i do. and ya know, i would rather buy stuff for my kids than myself anyways. there have been multiple times that i went to the store with the intent on buying something for myself and end up coming home with something for the kids. its mommy syndrome. and its good.

so, even though i discovered i have mommy syndrome i think i have a touch of the "consumer reports" too. now, if i go to the store to buy something, i usually buy the thing that has the best "quality". and yes, ive even checked consumer repports on things too. when it comes to my girly things im going for the better quality. nope, lucky perfume used to do the job. even victorias secret stuff used to do the job, but now im into ralph lauren perfumes and more "high quality" girly things. i am so enjoying going to macys durring the holiday season. ive always loved macys anytime of the year but its always better durring the holidays.

i so love looking for bargains on my expensive girly things. ive always wanted a guess red felt p.coat. i found one but nothing made by guess will fit me. sooooooo, to attain my p.coat i must lose weight. this is a different post altogether. i guess.....no pun intended :) what im trying to ramble on about is that walmart will simply not do for daydreaming, its on to dillards!

man, i wish my wish list wasnt so expensive........darn

just a little rant

so whats up with people thinking they can say anything anyway they want to people?

Call me sensitive, and yes i tend to be. But i do have a failrly thick skin when it comes to things being said to me. I take crap all the time from patients at work but my co-workers, come on! I think people you work with should try to be a little more careful about the way they say things to others. Im not completely innocent from having "a tone" on occassion but i NEVER NEVER say anything to degrade others or make them feel stupid.
And ya know the worst part? the people that have the worst attitudes are people in management here. Its not my direct boss,nor did anyone say anything particularly offensive to me or about me. Im mainly talking about attitude. Dont get all crazy and short with people because they have questions or circumstances out of their control.
Just a few weeks ago i heard and watched one of the "bosses" make fun of and brush off a question from a "subordinate" it was so rude! as she was walking down the hall she was waiving her hands and yelling "no, no just no" to this other persons question. ooooh, it infuriated me. Dont act like that at work. prefessionalism anyone?
this is just one of those things you cant get away from. if any of these people were to ask me directly what i thought about them i would tell them the truth. plain and simple. i would tell them the truth about how they act and how they make others feel. i wouldnt get all crazy and start having an attitude because a 29 year old girl like me is more mature than a 40 something like you.
grow up people! think about how you act to the people you work with everyday.

you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

and a little side note, i dont care if youre stressed and had a hard shift. you dont need to act like a total beast to the people around you. i flat out, dont care what your night was like and your stress is not my problem :)

pitty party

i feel jealous today. Im feeling jealous of moms that get to stay home with their babies. Sometimes i wonder why i have this inate drive to be a professional. i want to work but i want to stay home with the kids too. thats why i ended up in the job im in. to work full time i only have to work 3 days a week. jay would let me do whatever i wanted to. but he knows me too well. he knows i would get stir crazy and end up yelling at the kids too much. thus, why work is a good thing for me. i get to go to work and be social and get out of the house, and it helps me appreciate the kids and the hubs more.

But, my domestic side is calling. i think i have these feelings because we decided to almost "abandon" everything so we could get back on track with the bills after having a brain tumor twice. did you know it cost us over $250,000 after everything was said and done? thats crazy! Anyhow, we gave up our house(my world, even though it was crappy) our nice car that had a 3rd row so i didnt have to drive a mini van, almost everything was given up. and for a good reason i would like to state.
Im just feeling like i dont have anything to my name and im feeling jealous of people that have pretty houses and the things i used to.

the thing im most sad about is my kids. theyre tough little kiddos. theyve been through alot. im sad about losing my mommy abilities. i dont get to cook dinner anymore. i dont get to do theyre homework with them anymore. i feel like i barely see them. i hate not getting to do keltys hair in the mornings before school. it makes me feel bad for not getting to do those things with them now. living in moms basement is seriously hindering the way i parent. i appreciate everything my family has done for us lately. but, it sucks that i dont have much parental authority now. once again, i would like to state for the record, i appreciate and am grateful for my parents letting us come in to their house so we can move forward when weve had so many set backs. let me just say, its not easy.....for anyone in that house.

i should stop whining but i cant really tell anyone else these things, except jay, because the other person i want to talk to just gets mad or refuses to talk about it. things arent going the way i wanted them to. i had a vision of the way i wanted to do things with my kids and i cant even maintain our old routine. sometimes i feel like my personal, and family life are under a microscope. its very hard for me to have to share the "daily goings on" with other people. i hate being parented while im trying to parent. its almost like i cant even have my own opinions or way of doing things if they differ from the way i was raised. its really hard. i wish we were in a situation to move out sooner than later. but we have to get a nestegg built back up. and some other things back on track. im just impatient.

geez, what a pitty party day. it is a pitty party right now for me.  even though im super excited jay got a new job im still frustrated over the situation. i dont think im ever going to be a stay at home mom. i dont want to be. i  want to work part time or once a week. but when we get to that point gage will be a teenager, kel will be close and edynn will be in school so i might as well be something i want to be because when it comes time that we can have a little wiggle room my kids wont even be home. sucks to be me right now.
i guess i just have alot of mommy guilt. but i want to be on my own again. i feel like a teenager living in the basement just with kids and a husband. to tell you the truth its pretty stifling to be in the basement and with only one car i cant even go somewhere if i wanted to. ugh, so frustrated!

i hope i remember how this feels when i get my own house again. by my projections we wont be able to have a downpayment big enough to buy a house for at least 3 years. and i dont think we'll last that long in the basement. im not very keen on renting again but if it saves everyones relationship i'll gladly do it.

im feeling bad and jealous. so frustrated!

playing the waiting game

hello everyone,

well, im playing the waiting game with jay this week. he had a couple interviews for a pretty sweet job and now we're just waiting to hear back. I hate playing the waiting game for things like this. when your waiting in line for something fun, like going to a movie, its a good thing. But not for a job offer. its giving me some anxiety because i cant stand to see jay disappointed. hes been working so hard to get a better job but nothing has panned out yet. he took a job at walmart to get us through and he started school so he can get something better.
im so proud of him for being such a hard worker. i feel like hes had a couple disadvantages in his life. just a lack of information for the most part, like me, regarding the whole college thing. i know if he had a little more info on somethings he could have made something happen sooner.

.....................................................................................................................................................................

wow, im thanking the heavens right now! as i was typing the above piece of blog jay sent me a text. He got the job at Fairchild Semiconductor! It feels like the weight of the world has been lifted. like 50 bricks off my back :)
Finally! something is happening for him! What a blessing!................and theyre willing to pay 100% of an engineering degree!

Turkey day thanks!

Well, we went to Chuck-A-Rama on Thanksgiving! Can you believe that? Its ridiculous to not cook the bird and make all the side dishes and what not.
Ummmm nope, it was NOT ridiculous. It was kinda fun waiting in line for an hour and a half. it really was, im not being sarcastic. it was lovely not having people running around the kitchen trying to get everything done.

So here is my turkey day thankful list:

1-my beautiful children.....nuff said
2-my awesome hubby....love you jay!
3-food.....food is soooo yummy.......ive almost beat my hamburger problem btw
4-my wonderful immediate family, my dad especially.
5-wonderful things like poems and music and artsy-fartsy stuff

Sorry so short again. we'll get into some juicy stuff next time!

top 5 fave songs and thought on 29

top 5 favorite songs......ev.er.


starting with the bottom..............

#5-Shes a brick by Ben Folds 5.....mmmm love this song, it got me through some of the dark cloud days.

#4-I wanna grow old with you by Adam Sandler in The Wedding Singer.........its so awesome and it was on my wedding cd to jay on the day we got married.

#3-Shenendoah. its just beautiful! and a real piece of art....in my opinion.

#2-Goin Where The Wind Blows by Mr. Big. i love his raspy voice and it reminds me of a great time in my life.

#1- Stairway To Heaven by Led Zeppellin. I lovvvvvve this song and it will always be #1! some of the others in my top 5 may vary and change but this one is the best! I love it musically and poetically. My very favorite part is the first key change at the ending of the intro! mmmmm, its great! give it a listen.


And a notable mention goes to Dave Matthews band. I love him and his songs. Some DMB songs interchange themselves in and out of the top 5. Im a big lover of music but Im starting to feel like all the new music is just noise. must be my old age.

Can we talk about being 29 years old? Well, we are now. Being 29 is a little weird. I never thought i would ever get this old until it happened. I feel a little loser-ish 'cause a 29 year old should have a good career. I dont. My "lackee" job is just driving me nuts and something must be done about this! although, i feel like the rest of my life is on par. I have 3 beautiful children and a wonderful husband. Our "situation"(living in the basement) is slowly getting better. Its taking alot longer than i thought though. Sucks to be a basement dweller again. frowny face!
So, in my old age i have learned a few things. New music now sounds like cats drowning. Things like family and good "real" friends matter and the "leeches, who are side vamps" must go. Its not worth it to keep dumb people that dont care about you around yourself. And taco roll ups are tasty!
The ripe old age of 29 is pretty awesome! im way more confident in myself and much more positive. even though it may not look like ive made a huge amount of progress monetarily, i have all that matters to me. I count my blessing everyday and hope to be WAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY old! i'll bet when im 99 years old i'll say the same thing: "i never thought i would be this old".

29 is awesome!

crusty pavement

amazing day
the pavement crusted in white
slipping, sliding
running down the rail

i wish for new things
to lay exposed to my words
let them pierce someone
slide into their brain

mmm, sprinkling lights
twinkling from the skies
permeating
icing over my world.


Sometimes the earth is so beautiful. I love watching it snow out the window. I wish I could just sit and write all day and have my words change people. I wish people would be as moved by me just by simply reading a quote. I have words jamming up my brain all the time and its not a bad thing, not really.....most of the time. I am very inspired by poetry and hand written sentiments. Maybe I have some sort of disorder that makes me over empathise with people. Usually when i read a blog or something thats expressing hurt or something along those lines i immediately want to reach out to that person and make them feel better. I intellectually know thats a little weird and unrealistic. But my heart is hurting for my friend right now after reading her honest and authentic words. I hope she feels better soon.

request for a blog update :)

goooood morning fellow blogging buddies!

well, i have recieved a request via fb for a blog update.... First off, sorry for being so random in this last years updates, it was a roler coaster year.

Anywho, todays topic.... "The Conundrum". I have many conundrums in my life. Shall we list them? We shall. 1st conundrum, its a doozie, my cute little family lives in my moms basement. This is terrrrrrrrrible because I have been a home owner, as in actual mortgage on a property. Allbeit, a crap shack, but it was mine and i could live in it as i chose. Living in moms basement has its advantages and drawbacks. I will ellaborate on this particular conundrum in following posts.....they deserve a post all to themself.

2nd conundrum, what to do with my "poopy" job?....pun intended. As many of you know, i am not yet a nurse......or maybe never will be. Heres the problem, i have been quoted well over $20 an hour to start once i get my RN. Buuuuuuuuut, i believe you should be a nurse only if you want to and cant do anything else. its an emotional job and patients deserve people that want to be there with them. now i know thats not entirely realistic. I love to be with my patients but they are starting to annoy me rather than joy me(ha! i crack myself up!) I DO love my job but having to work every single christmas because my boss is nuts is really wearing on me. Yes, i could find a new place to work but do i really want to do this forever? Let me explain, nowhere in nursing school do they tell you that you will be judged by your patients everyday and then given a survey about you. Here at lovely Pioneer Valley, we have a "customer service lady" that pops into our patients rooms everyday and asks them "do you like your nurse?" What if theyre mad at you because the very sight of you is making them hurt? or the lotion you just put on(unscented btw) is making them nauseous, or the doctor isnt giving them the pain medication they want and the nurse is always the scapegoat. Not to mention exposing yourself to highly infections organisms on a daily basis, and the never ending 14 hour shift, working on holidays and weekends, and being up to your elbows in poop(that is very true). Yup, lots of crap that comes from this job........but also alot of good.
So, Aerial, what is the conundrum you say? Do i take a job thats going to quite literally take me away from my family for the next 18 months for school to get payed(to get out of moms basement)? or do i go to school to be a teacher?

Questions and conundrums. what to do, what to do? When i figure this out i'll let you all know. just remember, despite all the poop and political crap I love my job. Dang it, i think i might go to nursing school. ugh!

sooooo, i havent blogged regularly in about a year. and it was a good break. some things just had to give and unfortunately it was the blog.....and i dont work graveyards anymore so theres not alot of down time to fill.
 anywho, nothings new. just the usual quirks have remained intact. The brain tumor is not there. the last mri didnt show anything. whew!

Still going through the motions... trying to decide whether or not i should finish my nursing degree or go to school to be a teacher. any comments or feedback on which would be a better choice are deffinately welcome. thats about the only thing that my brain spins about anymore. I guess its a good thing.

thats about it for the day.

im not dead

well, its been a while since ive written on this blog. i needed some time to clear my head and not make all my neurotic ways public.
nothing much has happened since my last post. we moved from our old house and into moms basement. its been ok but certainly has been a weird and different experience.  Kelty started school, kindergarten to be specific. she loves school and is doing well. The school wont let herplay on the playground due to the tumor thing. But everything is good with her for the moment...........(more to come about that at the end of this post)

My baby Gage is doing ok too. He seems to be disinterested in school right now but no bullying issues thus yet. He seems to be happier, but i do wonder if he has some depression. Matt has severe clinical depression and it seems to be hereditary and im terrified gage has it. But his general outlook is good. Hes getting so big and so mature. If you can say that about an 8 and half year old.

Edynn is a challenge....and so wonderful. I miss her today while im at work. Shes soooo noisy and yells constantly! I never knew a baby could be so demanding! She has such a sweet little smile and just popped out her 2nd tooth.

so, as with any other blog post for the last 3 years it begins and ends with my therapy. im happy that this blog serves as my therapy for dealing with a child with a brain tumor. I dont know what to say other than all those old crazy, anxiety riddled feelings are coming back. We have an MRI scheduled for next monday and im getting worried. I didnt even think about it until today. And now i feel like the flood gates are opening. I wont write too muvh in detail other than.........this sucks and I feel like crying.

mmmmm k

I have a new rant. S s s so, if your in the hospital with something highly contageous and airborne wouldnt you just understand the mask I have to wear into the room is for MY safety and the safety of the other patients? Apparently not.

So my rant is.....dont lie about being a nurse or CNA/EMT if your not one. It seems to be an unspoken code between us healthcare slaves that we'll test you to see if you really do know a little somethin' somethin' about all this mumbo jumbo we call "care".
A patient told me she was a retired nurse. Maybe shes super old school. Like way before masks and precautions were put in place to save my life from your "ick". Buuuuuut shes only in her 50's. mmmmm k, starting to get suspicious after she asked me what the mask was for. So, this "retired nurse" (air quotes all over the place!) proceeds to tell me that the blood pressure cuff was squeezing too tight and hurting her arm. Ok they hurt, I get it. But then she tells me that we have a mans cuff on the machine.......I almost pointed and laughed at her!.......there are no mens and womens cuffs! Theyre all universal! A nurse would know that!

While I was laughing and pointing in my mind shes telling me that shes extremely hypertensive because of the cuff. Yeah right, lady Im looking at all your previous vital signs for the last 3 days and theres nothing indicating hypertension. I read them all to her and she still thinks she hypertensive. Starting to suspect her credentials even more......geez.

My rant is, if you dont have the slightest clue about fundamental nursing dont tell me your a nurse

What is up with that?

So Ive been thinking I should blog more. I hate typing on the computer at home because its a laptop and the keys are funny feeling to my fingers. I know, call me crazy but I dont like to type on that computer. But the same thing keeps happening to me. Every time I think of a good topic for a post I cant write about it.....or even rant about something 'cuz all these weird emotions keep bubbling up about Kelty.

I thought I was dealing well with the tumor thing but I guess I still have some more feelings about it. Sorry readers, another post about feelings....argh, its pretty frustrating to me too.

Feelings feelings feelings. I have way too many feelings. The most prominent feeling for me is fear. Fear of the unknown. Ick how cliche. Its really the fear of not knowing whats going to happen to kel. I dont know if shell be able to deal with school this coming year. It kills me to think about if shell be made fun of because of some of the effects(disabilities if you wish) of the tumors. It feels like my heart gets ripped out on a daily basis thinking about the probability that she could die before she grows old. I just wish I could know how her life is going to go. Its kindof weird to always walk on the edge with her.

One of my sis-in-laws was talking about her sisters little boy who is severely handicapped from a massive cva as an infant. She said something to the effect that her sister has this little boy because Heavenly Father knew she could handle something like that and that she would have the strength to do it. Now, I think of myself as a strong woman. Not very many things deter me but this "kid being sick thing" gets to me. I try to be strong about it but I dont feel like I am. I may be pretty stone-faced about it to alot of people but as you may know, I have a hard time expressing deep emotions to people that arent close to me(like almost everyone that isnt Jay). I still go to work and go about my daily duties because through all of this tumor turmoil Ive learned that life is fragile, and if Heavenly Father wants Kelty back he'll take her. At least I know she'll have important work to do in Heaven.

Geez, feelings after feelings huh? Theyre pretty heavy and hard to bear. It sure is nice to know that I'm not the only one thats going through a hard time with this. And its good to have an outlet to almost lift the weight. Although Im not sure that I would give all the weight up, honestly, I would rather carry it. It seems like giving the weight of the situation up would feel like giving up to me. Maybe I like the punishment of it? who knows. All I know is that its better for me to write about it than bottle it up inside.

Long time no blog

So I havent written for a long time for many reasons. I usually write on this blog while Im at work and i havent been working much lately cuz I was on maternity leave. My beautiful baby girl Edynn was born November 28th 2011. And shes been keeping me very busy!

Another reason I havent been blogging much lately is because I originally started this blog as a journal of my feelings. At the time I started this I was going through alot with MacKelty and I needed a way to get all the feelings out. Plus I didnt feel like I had anything good to say for a long time because I was beyond stressed and depressed over the possibility of losing my child.
But I am grateful for this blog because it helps me process my feelings and just get it out without burdening my family with all the bad thoughts and fears that were taking ahold of me.

So I say to you, dear readers, thankyou for listening even if I havent posted much....even if I havent posted much about the painful journey of having a child with a brain tumor. Thanks, I appreciate an outlet more than anyone knows.

Should we get to a 2011 year in review? I think we shall!

January 2011-
I seriously dont remember much from last January. Probly was just hoping to get January done with.....I hate the winter months.

February-
Valentines day! I love Valentines day! I got my annual roses from Jay

March-
Nothing in particular happened this month. Oh wait, we bought our little red car.

April-
Just waiting for the freadful snow to go away this month and threw my sons first birthday party ever. It snowed that day and it was supposed to be at a park....so we moved it to the Arctic Circle. He had a great time and lots of kids turned out. Mom and Ash made him a treasure chest cake.

May-
Nothing much this month

June-
Jays b-day! We went downtown and had machines guns and waffles!

July-
love July! love summer!

August-
Waiting for news on what to do kels tumor. It was also her birthday this month. She had a cute princess cake. Getting hugely preggo too.

September-
MacKelty had another tumor removed. Sad,angry and worried this month. We also moved out of our house.

October-
Living with mom and dad now. Doing better, some of the incredible stress is being lifted. Gage started at his new school and is loving it.

November-
My b-day! We went to Braza grill for b-day dinner, it was awesome! Waiting for Edynn to come and getting massively preggo. Edynn was born on the 28th.

December-
The first year I didnt have to work on x-mas!

I know my year in review sucks. We didnt do much and yet it feels like it was the busiest year ever. To be honest, the year was filled with anxiety,depression and anger over Kel having another brain tumor. This 2nd tumor was worse for me because I had time to stew on it and think about over and over. Maybe being all hormonal and pregnant didnt help anything huh? But the year was sprinkled with bright spots. Alot of sprikles happen to me. And for that I am grateful. So sayonara 2011! You sucked! I have a feeling 2012 is going to be alot better.