Friday, July 29, 2011

nothing new, again.

.......nothing new, again.

I guess Im just having alot of blog-apathy or something like that. I think Im too stressed about everything going on in my life that I wont let my mind wander like it used to. Nah, who am I kidding?! My mind constantly wanders.....just ask Jay. Im constantly unloading the ever present reel of whats going on in Aerial-land(what I refer to as my mind or psyche) to him. And what a wonderful husband I might add for doing that. At least, let me repeat, at least 3 times a week I change what I would like to do with my life and have to run it by Jay to see what he thinks. And his fervent, fervent as he always is, answer is always: "you'd be good at that" or "if thats what you really want to do". See, what a good hubby!

But, life has not been kind to us lately.....let me rephrase, for some reason I or we(Jay and I) are being tested....again. You would think the Lord might let us have a break. I guess not.
OK, get ready for some pre-existent horn tooting! My personal opinion on this whole being tested more and more and more lately is because I was stubborn in the pre-existence and told the Lord "let me take those trials, I can handle them. I'll prove to you I can handle them." Maybe I should have kept my big mouth shut or I should just breathe and try to live through this.

One of the major things Im struggling with is my daughter. On our last MRI there was something growing in her brain again. We cant tell if its scar tissue or another tumor. Ummm, I wont go into it much further because it makes my chest hurt and I cant bear to think that something is going to happen again. I honestly just cant bear it right now.
Weve had a major financial burden because of Kels medical expenses as you can imagine. Which has made Jay keep his extra 24 hours a week on top of his normal 40 hours a week just so we can survive now. Jays started getting sick now, there is something wrong with my superman and I am deathly worried.
I wont blubber about all my trials but Im just saying that with so many other things going on around me, not to mention being pregnant on top of this, its hard to think of anything else.

Call it blog-apathy or just plain old survival mode. Sorry for not being more jovial and having more fun blog posts.

Can I just say, being preggo is nice but Im getting to the point where its sooooooo hot! Icky hot!