even my armpits feel fat

 

so ive decided that im going back to weight watchers tonight. ive never been able to lose weight on my own or by doing my own dieting. and weight watchers was the only thing that ive done that i had any success in. im actually pretty excited and totally committed. after having a super clear crystalizing moment about the job conundrum i feel that every other part of my life is falling into place. things are on the mend!..........finally, for heck sakes!

lets talk about fat. ugh, the dreaded F.A.T. word. can i tell ya even my armpits feel fat! i went to get some new bras last night at lane bryant. it cost me over 100 smackers! another drawback to being this lovely and fat is that its expensive! so i have 4 beautiful new balconettes and my armpits squished out! so i went up a band size and they still did it. then i had squishy pits and ill fitting brazier. i would rather have a good fitting aaaaaaaand good supporting bra than an ill fitting one with pit fat spilling over. so now i have pit spillage but a very lovely feeling bra. and the girls look oh so good......if you dont look at the pits.......or back fat :(

another unfortunate part of being my size is pants. i now have a butt in front if i wear too tight of pants. my main goal is to loooooose the fat hanging off my lower abdomen. some call it an apron. ooooh, it makes me shutter even mentioning that word.....apron apron apron.........gah, it just gave me chills. it is now added to the list of words never to say again. a little clarification though, the actual word apron is not on the list. just with the connotation of fat is it on the list.

i have back rolls. they are gross. nothing more to be said about those.

another thing i NEED to rid from myself is the double chin starting to develop where i had a jaw bone. i feel like a "jolly" person with a double chin. (jolly used in this reference is a bad thing, not in the general usage of the word though)

now, the fat lifestyle i live is sucky. i have alot of energy but moving this body around takes it right out of me. i want the typical things a mom wants but the fat is preventing me from doing it. i would loooooove to get on the floor and play with the kids. this will be the best accomplishment. i hope it comes soon.