My mom asked me the other day what my favorite things about Jay were. Hmmm, how do you answer something like that? Well, Ive been thinking about what my most favorite thing about Jay is. Mom if your reading this..........continue on, this will not be a smutty post.
My most favorite thing about Jay is that he just understands me. He gets me. I know it sounds so cliche but its true. Ever since the first day I met Jay I was in love with him. We have this cosmic understanding between us. I dont have to say anything, he just knows. Its like he looks at my heart instead of all my neurotic ways. Thats what my MOST favorite thing about Jay is.
The other things I love are as follows:
-I love his crows feet. (There is nothing more beautiful than laugh lines)
-I love his laugh
-I love that hes way stronger than me. sometimes he makes me feel dainty :)
-I love his heart
-I love his desire to be the best dad he can
-I love all his movie lines....even though I dont know where half of them come from
-I Love that he always wants to please me
-I love his man thighs....hahahahahaha lol
-I love that hes my best friend
-I love that he makes me a whole person
-I love that he picks me up when Im down and recognizes my weaknesses
-I love that my weaknesses are his strengths
-I love everything about him.
I could go on and on and on. That little list is just a few little things that make me love him.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
a smidgeon of an update
I dont know if smidgeon is spelled right but you know what Im sayin', right?
Well, we're almost completely out of our house. And we're totally into moms house. ugh. It really hasnt been too bad. Theres been only one issue and I was pretty sure its going to be one of few issues we have there. I was really concerned about a few key things. First off, Im still a little concerned about my kids minding me. They already seem to be thinking grandma is the ultimate boss and what I say doesnt matter anymore. Ive been working pretty hard on staying the "mom" of my kids and not letting anyone else do it. I have a sinking feeling that Im the only one struggling with that. Its hard to say knock it off to your family when its still a little weird being there.
Then I was worried about getting along with my sister. I love my sister. We're finally friends and I didnt want to mess that up. We've had a little bit of a spat already and I was really upset about it. Because, in my old age, Ive become quite confrontational(thanks to the job) and I wasnt about to back down at any point that particular day. Instead, I realized I needed to cool off and be by myself... or there probly would have been some words said I would've regretted. So, I spent the day sitting at home eating Wendys delicious burgers and crying. Because Im massively pregnant and emotional.
I was initially a little worried about mine and Jays relationship. We have an extremely strong marriage and a good foundation. Ive already learned even after a few weeks of living at moms again that as long as Jay and I are together we're ok.
So, its been pretty good actually. Jay and I want to use this time to get everything payed off and focus on school. After having a catastrophic amount of medical bills to pay we're grateful for the opportunity to move forward with our lives and get kel taken care of. Even though it has meant making alot of hard decisions and leaving the first house we bought together.
We're excited to move forward from now on.
Well, we're almost completely out of our house. And we're totally into moms house. ugh. It really hasnt been too bad. Theres been only one issue and I was pretty sure its going to be one of few issues we have there. I was really concerned about a few key things. First off, Im still a little concerned about my kids minding me. They already seem to be thinking grandma is the ultimate boss and what I say doesnt matter anymore. Ive been working pretty hard on staying the "mom" of my kids and not letting anyone else do it. I have a sinking feeling that Im the only one struggling with that. Its hard to say knock it off to your family when its still a little weird being there.
Then I was worried about getting along with my sister. I love my sister. We're finally friends and I didnt want to mess that up. We've had a little bit of a spat already and I was really upset about it. Because, in my old age, Ive become quite confrontational(thanks to the job) and I wasnt about to back down at any point that particular day. Instead, I realized I needed to cool off and be by myself... or there probly would have been some words said I would've regretted. So, I spent the day sitting at home eating Wendys delicious burgers and crying. Because Im massively pregnant and emotional.
I was initially a little worried about mine and Jays relationship. We have an extremely strong marriage and a good foundation. Ive already learned even after a few weeks of living at moms again that as long as Jay and I are together we're ok.
So, its been pretty good actually. Jay and I want to use this time to get everything payed off and focus on school. After having a catastrophic amount of medical bills to pay we're grateful for the opportunity to move forward with our lives and get kel taken care of. Even though it has meant making alot of hard decisions and leaving the first house we bought together.
We're excited to move forward from now on.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
finally!....a little love
I just saw the sweetest thing in the whole world. Im at work, of course, buuuuuuut one of my patients had soiled the bed. Which would normally be a little upsetting because changing entire beds with patients in them is alot of work. Anywho, I walked into the room ready to change the bed and the dad of this adorable special needs boy refused my help. Just totally refused. He then explained that his son is uncomfortable with women taking care of him and how hes the father and any "good dad in his right mind" would offer to do this for his son.
OMG! my heart just swelled because Ive had the thoughts that I would have to do that for my daughter for the rest of her life. And to see a dad still taking care of his 22 year old son that needs an incredible amount of care is just amazing.
I agree with this dad of my patient. I would also try to maintain as much dignity as I could for my loved one in that kind of a circumstance. That kind of love and compassion isnt seen alot around here.
OMG! my heart just swelled because Ive had the thoughts that I would have to do that for my daughter for the rest of her life. And to see a dad still taking care of his 22 year old son that needs an incredible amount of care is just amazing.
I agree with this dad of my patient. I would also try to maintain as much dignity as I could for my loved one in that kind of a circumstance. That kind of love and compassion isnt seen alot around here.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Welcome! to your left we have a nice view of the trailer park!
Let me just state for the record that Im grateful to have a job in this economy and feel bad for the people that dont. There, its stated.
Now, onto the rant! Instead of complaining about the facility and how we dont have any supplies Im going to complain about people. Im really trying to hold back typing some very specific explatives about certain people. I really am!
So, its been a hard night here at the "trailer park", the term I affectionately refer my place of employment to. We have a whole crap load of really unstable patients in the ICU, where they freaking belong, I might add! There are 4 patients on vents. 1 of them is trying to climb out of bed whilst vented. Can we say SEDATION PLEASE! One of the others is vented and trached and trying to move around. Hello, good way to strangle yourself! And the psycho pants lady decided she would have a giant seizure while the vents were climbing the walls. Sounds like fun huh? Oh, did I mention durring all of that someone was trying to bleed out on top of it all. Suck a duck! Im glad I dont work in the ICU here.
My good friend just went down to work the ICU full time. I miss her. sigh. I hope theyre not eating her alive. You know what they say, nurses tend to eat their young.
Up here, where the supposedly stable patients are, is a different story most of the time. Tonight we have 2 patients that have pulled out multiple IVs. Like 4 each. That in and of itself is a major bummer!......cuuuuuuuz the one dude has no veins and has dementia. So, in his head its probly a snake or something eating his arm. For that, I dont blame him for pulling it out and chewing on it. Probly sucking the venom out, right? It all makes sense now. Geez, I must be losing it. Im starting to find it really easy to think like my patients. Wait, maybe I have dementia?
One of the other "problems" is a guy who, quite frankly, concerns me. I am genuinely concerned for him. He drives semis for a living and landed in SLC from somewhere down south. All of a sudden he is NOT oriented. Or, in other words, doesnt know who, where, what time, where in time he is. Hes walking around the room stretching his IV.....llllllloooonger than it should be stretched. Peeing in the sink, grabbing at me and all sorts of funky stuff. This is a problem because he is going to hurt himself(aaaaaaand all that paperwork sucks if he falls and hurts himself) or someone else. Not to mention this guy drives a truck for a living. Thank heavens he wasnt driving when all this weirdness happened.
So my point was......even though the ICU sucks right now. We're having some issues too that are very time consuming. People dont need to be coming up here and throwing down attitude. Seriously! Youre busy, we're busy. Dont act like a total sunnuvva you know what. Way to keep morale up here at the trailer park.
In my opinion, this nursing job is the hardest job out there right now. We're expected to make people feel like theyre staying at the 4 seasons..... or at least the Marriott while they get better from whatever is "bugging" them. Someone tell me how Im supposed to do that when we dont have the necessary staff to cover all these patients so they have to wait when they call for something. Now, you know, here at the "trailer park" we dont even have enough equipment that works. Yup, sounding like luxury to me. Theres always patches in the walls where beds have smacked up against the wall and left a hole. Lights are burning out all the time. Faucets dripping, showers that have no hot water, etc, etc, etc. I could go on and on about how nothing works and how gosh awful ugly this place is but the true reason why patients arent happy here is because of money. Uhhh hum, money. The floors budget has been cut. Like everything else in this stupid economy. We got rid of all, I mean all, the luxury supplies. No proper bed bath wipes, no bed pads we just have bath blankets rigged up as draw sheets and thin blue chux that dont absorb ANYTHING!! And yet, we continue to be the highest grossing hospital in the region. So someone please explain to me why we cant have enough nurses to cover all these patients?
This place sucks 75% of the time because(I cant believe it took me this long to figure it out) we dont have more floors to house all the different patient types. My eyes were opened when I got called to work a shift over in "the promised land", our sister hospital, aka the mother ship, where they had true med/surg patients. Whaaaaaat?! yeah, I know, insane right? A med/surg floor with med/surg patients on it. Whoa, it kinda blows my mind too. 'Twas soooo heavenly! I didnt have crazies, and people peeing in sinks and others that kept trying to die. It.was.awesome!
Sooooo, over at the mother ship they have a floor for tele people(people needing heart monitors), a med/surg floor, and a crazy people floor. I could go on and on. Plus, its a different demographic of people......ummm how do i put this nicely? They dont have people that have 3 teeth and swing from engine blocks they strung up in trees to entertain themselves. They have, dare I say, "normal people".
Well, there we go. A small rant about work......again. :)
Now, onto the rant! Instead of complaining about the facility and how we dont have any supplies Im going to complain about people. Im really trying to hold back typing some very specific explatives about certain people. I really am!
So, its been a hard night here at the "trailer park", the term I affectionately refer my place of employment to. We have a whole crap load of really unstable patients in the ICU, where they freaking belong, I might add! There are 4 patients on vents. 1 of them is trying to climb out of bed whilst vented. Can we say SEDATION PLEASE! One of the others is vented and trached and trying to move around. Hello, good way to strangle yourself! And the psycho pants lady decided she would have a giant seizure while the vents were climbing the walls. Sounds like fun huh? Oh, did I mention durring all of that someone was trying to bleed out on top of it all. Suck a duck! Im glad I dont work in the ICU here.
My good friend just went down to work the ICU full time. I miss her. sigh. I hope theyre not eating her alive. You know what they say, nurses tend to eat their young.
Up here, where the supposedly stable patients are, is a different story most of the time. Tonight we have 2 patients that have pulled out multiple IVs. Like 4 each. That in and of itself is a major bummer!......cuuuuuuuz the one dude has no veins and has dementia. So, in his head its probly a snake or something eating his arm. For that, I dont blame him for pulling it out and chewing on it. Probly sucking the venom out, right? It all makes sense now. Geez, I must be losing it. Im starting to find it really easy to think like my patients. Wait, maybe I have dementia?
One of the other "problems" is a guy who, quite frankly, concerns me. I am genuinely concerned for him. He drives semis for a living and landed in SLC from somewhere down south. All of a sudden he is NOT oriented. Or, in other words, doesnt know who, where, what time, where in time he is. Hes walking around the room stretching his IV.....llllllloooonger than it should be stretched. Peeing in the sink, grabbing at me and all sorts of funky stuff. This is a problem because he is going to hurt himself(aaaaaaand all that paperwork sucks if he falls and hurts himself) or someone else. Not to mention this guy drives a truck for a living. Thank heavens he wasnt driving when all this weirdness happened.
So my point was......even though the ICU sucks right now. We're having some issues too that are very time consuming. People dont need to be coming up here and throwing down attitude. Seriously! Youre busy, we're busy. Dont act like a total sunnuvva you know what. Way to keep morale up here at the trailer park.
In my opinion, this nursing job is the hardest job out there right now. We're expected to make people feel like theyre staying at the 4 seasons..... or at least the Marriott while they get better from whatever is "bugging" them. Someone tell me how Im supposed to do that when we dont have the necessary staff to cover all these patients so they have to wait when they call for something. Now, you know, here at the "trailer park" we dont even have enough equipment that works. Yup, sounding like luxury to me. Theres always patches in the walls where beds have smacked up against the wall and left a hole. Lights are burning out all the time. Faucets dripping, showers that have no hot water, etc, etc, etc. I could go on and on about how nothing works and how gosh awful ugly this place is but the true reason why patients arent happy here is because of money. Uhhh hum, money. The floors budget has been cut. Like everything else in this stupid economy. We got rid of all, I mean all, the luxury supplies. No proper bed bath wipes, no bed pads we just have bath blankets rigged up as draw sheets and thin blue chux that dont absorb ANYTHING!! And yet, we continue to be the highest grossing hospital in the region. So someone please explain to me why we cant have enough nurses to cover all these patients?
This place sucks 75% of the time because(I cant believe it took me this long to figure it out) we dont have more floors to house all the different patient types. My eyes were opened when I got called to work a shift over in "the promised land", our sister hospital, aka the mother ship, where they had true med/surg patients. Whaaaaaat?! yeah, I know, insane right? A med/surg floor with med/surg patients on it. Whoa, it kinda blows my mind too. 'Twas soooo heavenly! I didnt have crazies, and people peeing in sinks and others that kept trying to die. It.was.awesome!
Sooooo, over at the mother ship they have a floor for tele people(people needing heart monitors), a med/surg floor, and a crazy people floor. I could go on and on. Plus, its a different demographic of people......ummm how do i put this nicely? They dont have people that have 3 teeth and swing from engine blocks they strung up in trees to entertain themselves. They have, dare I say, "normal people".
Well, there we go. A small rant about work......again. :)
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
update
So miss MacKelty had her brain tumor taken out almost 2 weeks ago. The surgery was uneventful(a very good thing!). I cant explain things other than priesthood blessings and miracles were poured out upon us.
Everything remained intact for Kel. Even though the docs were telling me she could possibly end up in a bad situation....like having to relearn how to walk and eat and do everything we've worked so hard to do in the past 2 years. I mean, my darling baby girl didnt walk until she was almost 3 years old and that was only with the help of a walker. So I consider myself to be a recipient of more than one miracle in my lifetime. Just with MacKelty there have too many to even count.
So, she came out of surgery without the vent! Halleluja! The art lines were pulled and the only thing attached to her were Ivs and the tele monitors. It was awesome! Still scary to see her right after surgery though. But it was such a relief to see no vent. I didnt get too crazy at the hospital but you can ask Jay about my meltdown later that night. The only thing that made me nervous was that the RN(i hated her by the way....she was dumb, and yes, I was scrutinizing her care) had to manually hold her neck up to keep her airway open because she had some strider and was a little floppy. Wow, Im really having to hold back how much I want to slander that dumb nurse (now we had a situation the next day in PICU that I wanted to scream at her about. thats why).
But other than the scary PICU we had a good time in the hospital, believe it or not. Kel was just a little confused when she got home. She put her cup in the garbage rather than putting it in the sink where it goes. She still needs a little reminding about a couple things but shes walking and talking. Even running and jumping. You would never know she just had brain surgery almost 2 weeks ago.....except for the hideous baseball like stitching on the back of her head :)
Thanks to everyone that has helped us through the last 3 weeks. I truly appreciate everyones concern and involvement. Ive never had a ward rally around us and show complete strangers(us) so much love and support. Unfortunately it wasnt our own ward it was my moms but it was truly awesome to see.
Everything remained intact for Kel. Even though the docs were telling me she could possibly end up in a bad situation....like having to relearn how to walk and eat and do everything we've worked so hard to do in the past 2 years. I mean, my darling baby girl didnt walk until she was almost 3 years old and that was only with the help of a walker. So I consider myself to be a recipient of more than one miracle in my lifetime. Just with MacKelty there have too many to even count.
So, she came out of surgery without the vent! Halleluja! The art lines were pulled and the only thing attached to her were Ivs and the tele monitors. It was awesome! Still scary to see her right after surgery though. But it was such a relief to see no vent. I didnt get too crazy at the hospital but you can ask Jay about my meltdown later that night. The only thing that made me nervous was that the RN(i hated her by the way....she was dumb, and yes, I was scrutinizing her care) had to manually hold her neck up to keep her airway open because she had some strider and was a little floppy. Wow, Im really having to hold back how much I want to slander that dumb nurse (now we had a situation the next day in PICU that I wanted to scream at her about. thats why).
But other than the scary PICU we had a good time in the hospital, believe it or not. Kel was just a little confused when she got home. She put her cup in the garbage rather than putting it in the sink where it goes. She still needs a little reminding about a couple things but shes walking and talking. Even running and jumping. You would never know she just had brain surgery almost 2 weeks ago.....except for the hideous baseball like stitching on the back of her head :)
Thanks to everyone that has helped us through the last 3 weeks. I truly appreciate everyones concern and involvement. Ive never had a ward rally around us and show complete strangers(us) so much love and support. Unfortunately it wasnt our own ward it was my moms but it was truly awesome to see.
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